Living in Shadowland©
I have lived in the land of shadows and doubts a place that every dreamer must pass through on his way to paradise. A place unavoidable with no detour of effortless release. It is a place of uncertainty, that can infuse in you the fear of failure.
Yet, living through those times, I clung tighter to my dream. It is the Shadow land of hope being born and anyone with a dream must at sometime learn to travel through there.
Throughout my years of torment and abandonment, I had learnt a lesson. From deep inside, a stubborn resolution welled up, “I had a dream”. Nobody could take that from me. As I found myself speaking this dream into my life, I wished that I could say that things suddenly got better. But I can tell you they didn’t!!!!
Thank goodness I had Jesus moving me over those rough times. Somehow through the struggle, you can learn to overcome and still you can hold quietly to your dream. I had to make sacrifices at times, but I held on to my dream.
There were times, to push away other distractions and keep looking, when would my dream become reality? That’s what living in Shadowland is all about. Sometimes it took courage and persistence in the long climbs through the shadows. Sometimes that’s what it takes because is still remained, it was my dream.
The day my dream begin to be fully realized, stand out in my life like no other. In my heart it burned, deep in my mind it is the clearest memory, I possess. Although it was obvious that somehow God had smiled on that day above all other, finally releasing to me the treasures of my dream.
I knew even then, that it was only the beginning. It was a beginning of a dream realized with exciting and exhilarating even. But it was just a beginning. I found that I started to see the face of my dream in a different way. Despite terrible mistakes, sickness, awful trials and some, many nightmarish fears over the years from that day of providence, I learnt that the father was truly investing himself in my life, through my dream. And he expected a return. He got one.
For so many long and lonely years, I had silently carried my dream. Now I found my dream was carrying me. I began to grow and change into a different person over those years. One of the most important discoveries I ever made was that in some strange unexplainable way, I had become part of the dream, and the dream had become a part of me.
Now as I move through the chaos of my world, I could see a vision of myself in that dream staring back at me. I could see myself led on by the grace of God, to become a new person leaving the tattered fruitless years of pain and terror behind me, my dream was holding me.
It didn’t happen all at once but I instinctively felt a calling from deep within to recognize myself in that dream, and to begin to grow away from an old life that no longer served any purpose. My life had changed and it was time for other things around and within me to change too.
It will be a never ending process that I will go through all my days. A process that I will be eternally grateful for. Not only had the dream suddenly walked into my life and changed me forever, but it gently continued doing so with loving compassion.
Thank you ……….. for being the heart of that dream for showing me that I was a true and living vital part of eternal family that will never leave me. For making me such a part of your family. Over all these years you have continually loved the hurt out of me and joined your voice in laughter to share all the blessing that life could be after all.
One day I will stand before the throne and thank my God ………….. for giving me not only the dream but also the heart that went with it.
Frank Soonius
A Promise of Hope
I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. Then you can call on me. You will come and pray to me and I will answer you.
You will seek me and you will find me, because you will seek me with all your heart.
{Jeremiah 29: 11-13}